Title: With Or Without Consent Author: Noelle Lundgren Rating: R Classification: SA Keywords: Mulder/Scully; rape story Spoilers: None Summary: It couldn't ever happen......could it? Disclaimer: Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, and Walter Skinner are not mine. But why do I have to tell you that? You know they belong to... oh, what's-his-name... the guy who wrote that "X-Files" show... Note to "Everyone" (you know who you are): Yes, I'm covered in pies. You don't need to add to the mess. :-) (Special Note to m' pal, Kris: Oh, just pass it out to the WORLD! "What? Is this *another* X-Files chat room?") ================================= "With or Without Consent" by Noelle Lundgren "I wanna know Why the monsters that hurt you so Don't look like those things that We battled so long ago." --T. Gorman and T. Donelly He guessed that it was as simple as he'd never really noticed before just how big her eyes were. He'd never taken the time before. Either that, or he was so close to her now that there was no way he could help but notice. They were blue. A pale, ice-blue, outlined with a thick ring of a color that was almost purple. Tiny threads of different shades of blue shot out of the black center, like the hundreds of little arms from a sea creature. The blue globes floated in a milky-white, scarred with the thin red lines of veins. Long lashes framed each eye. Flame-colored eyebrows slanted down like Oriental brush-strokes. Both of the eyes were half-filled with tears. The first solitary droplet made a shiny line down her face as she spoke. "Mulder, please--" "Shut up!" he commanded. He shoved her harder against the office wall. The back of her head hit harder than anything else, making a dull thud. She shut her eyes, and her forehead crinkled, as though her face had absorbed all of the shock. He pressed himself against her roughly. He held her legs in a lock between the two of his, and with his left hand, held her both hands behind her back. One of his hands was large enough to encircle both of her wrists at once. His right hand rested on her collar bone in a very light choke hold, threatening to squeeze if she decided she was going to scream. But he knew she wouldn't scream. "Mulder, Skinner is going to be down here in five minutes to look at reports. There's no way that you can--" "I thought I told you to fuckin' shut up!" he screamed. This time he lifted his right hand from her neck, and punched her in the face. Her head whipped to the side, as his knuckle crushed her nose. Her cheek smacked against the wall, her eyes snapping shut at the impact. She remained like that, with her eyes closed and her head to the side for a long time. She looked at him first with her eyes. They were teary and wide with fright. Then slowly, carefully, she turned her head to look at him. Blood flowed steadily from her left nostril, and a huge purple bruise was already forming on her cheek, directly under her eye. Her lower lip was split; a fat line of ruby-red marked the spot where the skin was broken. Her breathing was ragged. She sounded as though she couldn't get enough air. "You shut up!" he hissed. "Just shut the fuck up!" His left hand still held her wrists. His right hand crept up under her skirt, and yanked at her nylons first and then her underwear. There was the sound of tearing cloth. She winced at the noise, anticipating what was going to follow. His hand dropped down to his belt, which he undid in one quick motion. Next was the button and zipper of his pants, which came undone just as easily. His hand then moved down to yank her skirt up above her hips. "You just keep your mouth shut!" He said it like a warning. ********* Ever since they had started working together, he'd been touching her. Whether it was to protect her, comfort her, or examine her for alien implants, parasites, or strange markings, he'd made a lot of physical contact with her over the years they'd been working together. His embrace had always made her feel protected and safe. His hand gently resting on her shoulder or cheek had never failed to induce a feeling of serenity in her. His hands had always been gentle and could convey a sense of caring and comfort. Even the most subtle, light touch could relax her. He'd never raised a hand to strike her. Even in the moments when he was more frustrated with her than either of them thought possible, his hands had always been gentle and kind. Until now. She pressed herself back against the wall, as though she could sink into it, away from him. His eyes were wide, eager, and hungry. Hungry like an animal attacking it's prey, knowing that soon, it would eat well. He was very overwhelming. She'd never imagined that her partner, a man she cared for, and trusted, was capable of doing this. Doing this to her. Why was he acting in such a way? Why now? She'd never supposed it could happen to her. It was a difficult subject to ponder anyway, but to think of herself as the victim, helpless and unable to do anything, seemed impossible. And now that it was happening, why was she not resisting? Because physically, she couldn't, or because she was afraid? Afraid to resist because this wasn't just any man, it was her partner. Her trusted work partner. And her friend. Which made it all the more confusing. She couldn't help but wonder how long he'd thought about something like this; forcing himself on her. Taking her with or without her consent. Had this always been buried back in his mind, or was it something more spur-of-the- moment? At home, had he planned out what he would do? Or here, in their office, had he just had the sudden urge to throw her against the wall, rip her blouse open, pull her skirt up, and have his way with her? She stared longingly at her gun, which had been left on the desk next to a stack of papers. How she wished it was in her hand, rather than across the room, seemingly miles away. She wouldn't hesitate to shoot him, was that gun in her hand at the moment. She wouldn't hesitate for a second. Blood and tears streaked her face, and she could taste blood in her mouth. He'd hit her hard. Harder than she'd thought he would be able to. Her left arm might even be broken, she guessed, it was throbbing so hard, crushed under the weight of both their bodies. He's so much bigger than me, she found herself thinking. Is he trying to prove something to me? That he's bigger and better and stronger. Was this some way of his expressing fear, or impatience? Or authority. That was probably it. Maybe he was trying to take something from her. Questions swirled around in her mind. It was almost beyond her comprehension. He'd taken away one thing, that was for sure; her ability to resist him. She'd been able to stand up to him before, why not now? The second he'd pushed her against the wall, why hadn't she fought back? ********* When she started crying and sobbing--her last line of defense--he slapped her. So hard, in fact, that he left a red hand-print on her face. When she'd tried to reason with him in a weak, girlish voice, he'd socked her in the stomach. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he'd had enough. The beast had eaten it's fill. Panting like a dog, he broke contact with her just a split second before Assistant Director Walter Skinner entered the office after knocking only once. Skinner knew he was expected. What hadn't been expected was what Skinner saw. "Agent Mulder!" Mulder's partner spoke for him. "Sir, this isn't--" Mulder punched her in the side of the head again. "You rotten cunt, I told you to shut the fuck up!" he screamed. Skinner grabbed the gun that sat on the desk to his left. "Agent Mulder," he said slowly, "let her go." "Fuck you." "Let her go!" Skinner yelled. "Fuck off! This isn't your business." "Agent Mulder, you just made it my business. I will shoot," Skinner assured him. "Let her go, and turn around." Mulder had turned only half-way around. Click, snap, tighten. Before he knew it, he was firmly handcuffed to a locked drawer of his desk. That done, Skinner approached the victim, who had fallen to the floor in a crumpled heap at the moment of her release. "Agent Scully," he said, inching closer to her, like she might shatter if he moved too quickly. "Agent Scully, are you all right?" Silence. "Scully, are you okay..." Skinner repeated a little more gently this time, reaching out hesitantly to touch her cheek. Scully, still collapsed on the floor coughed in response. She choked, and vomited a little, spitting up some blood along with her lunch. Then she started to cry. ********* Wearing a soft white bathrobe over her hospital gown, she padded down the cold hallway in the flimsy slippers they'd given her. She found room one-hundred-seven, and pushed through the door. There were two beds in the room. The one closer to the door was empty, but the one farther into the room was occupied by a body that was almost too big for it. A head turned on the pillow, and a pair of pale brown eyes focused on her face. She made her way closer to the bed. When she was sure the patient knew who she was, she said simply, "Hey," as a greeting. He didn't return her greeting. He said, "I'm surprised they let you see me." "They didn't." There was a long pause as her partner pondered the statement. He didn't reply, so she continued, "Why are you here?" "They want to check for drugs and alcohol......before they send me to prison." The last word came out like it was physically painful to say. "Drugs..." She thought about that. "You weren't...were you?" "No!" he snapped. It came out angrier than he'd intended. He looked sorry, but he didn't add to the statement for a long moment. Finally, very softly, he said, "I...don't remember..." When he didn't say anything more, she asked, "How do you feel?" "Like a monster..." There was a long pause. "But I should be asking you that," he said softly. She looked terrible. Her face was all purple and swollen on one side. It had actually swollen over her eye. The top of her nose was bandaged. Her left arm was in a sling. There was a long scab running from her bottom lip down her chin about an inch. "You're going to have a very ugly little scar..." he said softly, raising a hand as though to touch the scab. She flinched, pulling away, even though she was way out of his reach. Her forehead crinkled, and for a moment, he thought she might cry. "Oh, Scully..." That flinch was like a knife ripping into his heart. She didn't trust him anymore. She didn't trust him not to hurt her. But then, he thought, she doesn't have any reason to trust a man who hit her... A man who raped her. He shut his eyes, feeling tears well up behind his eyelids. That's what he'd done. He'd raped her. He'd scarred and hit the face he loved so much, and he'd assaulted the woman he trusted more than anyone. He'd invaded her in the worst way. He had raped her. Why? What could have possibly happened? When she finally looked back at him and he'd opened his eyes, there was a little line of blood running from her left nostril. "Scully--" Mulder said, gesturing towards her face. "Huh?" She raised a hand to her face, touching the blood. "Fuck me," she hissed, swiping at her nose. When she saw Mulder's stare in response to her choice of words, she blushed. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. Finally, when her nosebleed had stopped, she asked in a small, almost terrified voice exactly what he had been thinking a moment ago. "Mulder...the office...what happened?" He couldn't stop the tears from steaming down his face. "I don't know..." It was an honest answer, even though at this point she probably didn't believe him. Whether she believed him or not, he'd told her the truth. He didn't know. The thought of a "physical" relationship with his partner had always seemed out of the question, but without her consent... It took a monster to do what he had done. "I wasn't... I don't know... I never thought that we... that I... Scully, I never..." She backed up a little, nodding. "Mulder, do me a favor and don't speak to me. I think we should just not...interact with each other for a while." Scully turned around, and promptly left the room. She didn't look back at him. The End. =================== Didn't like it? I agree with you. Tell me about it. "Gee, whiz, can't we all just share our feelings?" ===================